


Water Damaged Memories

by JDLovesSlushees



Series: Shadow Of The Man I was [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Au where it’s Rick and Judith who die, Gen, I’m so sorry, Major character death - Freeform, Sad, Spoilers, This is really sad I’m sorry, Who’s cutting onions, idk what I was thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 04:31:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20076196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JDLovesSlushees/pseuds/JDLovesSlushees
Summary: “I’m starting to forget their voices, I’m not trying to but they keep fading away.” He watched as a lone drop of “rain,” slid down Daryl’s face. He could feel the sadness of the raindrop, for he was alone somewhere he knew he didn’t belong too.





	Water Damaged Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Read at your own risk

Carl sat on the rain soaked jacket Daryl had laid down on the stone. They were in the middle of the woods, in front of what used to be a house but had since been subject to the rough ways of nature. He looked back at the house, the pale yellow panels had gone brown and the wood porch or what was left of it had rotted from years of rain. Carl knew no one survived in this world. Apocalypse or not, no one makes it out alive. That’s what he told himself, he didn’t let the nagging feeling that the way they went wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair get to him. His focus returned to the feeling of Daryl’s jacket beneath him. It felt like such a privilege, considering it’s a privilege to even survive in the world they lived in. Not having a wet ass was a huge win, whereas; surviving another day was more of a loss. 

Daryl gave him a look, one he’s never seen on the man’s face besides when he would look at Rick. It was a look of respect, a look of “I would follow you anywhere because you’re the only family I got.” Carl knew his flannel shirt was probably see-through by now, he knew they should probably get back before they got themselves in trouble. Or maybe he knew he should get away from Daryl before the man saw him breakdown, but his dad had taught him a real man never hides how he feels, because while feelings are terrifying, there are much scarier things out there. So he let the tears fall, he left himself feel the pain. It broke the silence that had been filling the air for at least an hour. 

“I’m starting to forget their voices, I’m not trying to but they keep fading away.” He watched as a lone drop of “rain,” slid down Daryl’s face. He could feel the sadness of the raindrop, for he was alone somewhere he knew he didn’t belong too. He wished his dad was here, he wished Lori was here. Lori always knew exactly what to say to make him feel okay again, and Rick was always there to dry his tears. Daryl’s mouth opened but Carl didn’t care much what he had to say. He didn’t care much about anything anymore. “I know, kid.” the older man let out a deep sigh and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, a foreign gesture one would never think would come from Daryl Dixon. 

Sometimes he wished he wasn’t brought into this world, he wished his life was a TV show and he was an actor in it. His mind faded back to a fuzzy memory, “What if this isn’t just some virus, what if we die, what if you and dad die and I’m the only one left?” He was standing in his moms bedroom while she packed all the supplies she could fit into one bag. “Don’t say that, Carl. We’re gonna be fine this’ll all blow over in a week or so.” He knew that was a lie. If it was going to blow over, his mom wouldn’t be packing everything they had. He was brought back to reality when Daryl began to speak again. “When you spend so much time alone in this world, with nothing better to do you start to notice some things.” Carl was confused on where this was going, Daryl was never one to be physiological. He continued, “You notice that no one stays and it’s not fair, you notice the pain in the eyes of people you never expected to care about, you notice that life does not abide by the rules.” He stood and picked up a rock, throwing it into the space in front of them. 

“They say life isn’t fair, but in reality life is as fair as it can be, because reality doesn’t have a book of what’s fair and what isn’t.” He threw another rock, this time softer so it glided through the air. When it left his fingers he didn’t stop to watch it, instead he turned around and pointed to the old house behind them. “It’s like that house, at some point it was a nice little house where someone had a life, it used to be a place where someone felt safe, now it’s just an empty house with no meaning to anyone.” The metaphor reminded Carl of his life before the end of the world, and he momentarily let himself wonder what his old house looked like now. Daryl sat back down next to him, “Life doesn’t care if you’re asleep, or if you’re in a coma, or if you’re having the best damn day,” he saw the pain in the man’s eyes so clearly now. “Life is gonna happen, it’s gonna go on without you, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.” that left a bad taste in Carl’s mouth, accepting the fact that what happened had to happen was just not sitting well with him and he didn’t think it ever would. He removed his arm from Carl’s soaking wet shoulders and stood. “Life happened, kid but we have a new life now it’s not fair and it’s definitely not ideal, but it’s what we got.” 

He held his hand out for Carl to take and he took it, he let himself be pulled up from the cold stone and as he made his way back Carl couldn’t help but think that Rick, Lori, and Judith were somewhere watching out for him. He looked back at the stone that read, “R.I.P Daryl Dixon,” and pulled the jacket tighter around himself. The rain pelted him as he got into the beat up pick up truck. He had to get back before the rain ruined his clothes. 

~_fin~_


End file.
